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October 18, 2005

Beyond Being an Easy Mark

My first taste of the world of business happened when I was 12 during Halloween week back in 1955. It was perhaps a less abrasive time 50 years ago, but the barriers for individuals with disabilities were just as real as they are today, if not more entrenched.

See my Halloween story, "First Payment for Doubt's Benefit."

I was crushed for days after I had let down my "house brother." I knew I had failed to prevent someone from taking advantage of me, and I wondered if that was to be my real affliction in life: to always be the "easy mark" for others.

But I gradually learned an important lesson from that experience. As I grew up, I leaned to trust but verify – even in the most innocent of circumstances.

There are many stories among eSight members, I’m sure, about learning how to live well in a rough and tumble world with a sense of personal integrity.

So, here is the discussion question this week on eSight’s "Swimming in the Mainstream" blog:

What’s the best way to handle a work situation in which a person is taking advantage of you due to your apparent vulnerability?


Add your comments to this posting

Posted by Jim at October 18, 2005 06:52 PM

Comments

First make sure you are being taken advantage of before you go any further. You have to take responsibility for your own actions. Next, document EVERYTHING in case you need it later. Next take a look at the situation from the other person's perspective. What has made you vulnerable besides your lack of sight? Make sure you are not doing anything careless- be on your P's and Q's as they say. Are you doing or not doing something that leaves the door open for this other person to walk right through?
Now that you have your facts in order you may need to confront the person depending on the situation. When I say confront I do not mean get confrontational because that will be counterproductive. Talk to them in private an do not use a bunch of "you" sentences. Tell them what you have observed happening and your role. Tell them your perspective and what you believe the facts to be. Maybe you can work out the problem between the two of you. Document your conversation. Take mental notes and put them down in writing later. It might make the person defensive if he sees you writing during your exchange.
If you are uncomfortable with the idea of addressing the issue on your own or if the problem threatens your employment, then go to your immediate supervisor or Human Resources with your documentation.
I do think that if it is feasible make every effort to actively work out the problem. Be assertive and stand up for yourself. If you do not it will continue and likely get worse. You deserve just as much respect as anyone else- sighted or not. It is obvious that the coworker is not team oriented and is inconsiderate and disrespectful if they are intentionally taking advantage of you. If they are doing it unknowingly they may appreciate the fact that you want to address the problem in a civil way. If they happen to be an uncooperative jerk, then someone in authority definitely needs to know what is going on and what kind of peron they have working for them. If I had an employee who was taking advantage of another employee I would like to see them work it out like adults if it is a relatively minor infraction. If the person did not change his behavior or was not willing to listen, then I would want to take formal disciplinary action against that employee. Their behavior is not only unacceptable and inappropriate, it is also likely to lead to bigger problems.

Posted by: Melissa at October 19, 2005 01:35 PM

I can so identify with your pumpkin story. I have had jobs where I cashiered. It's not hard for people to tell that I can't see well so it made me a target. When it first happened to me I almost lost the job. I was so angry at myself and angry at the man who had done it; I could have chewed nails! I swore I would never let it happen again, but no matter how careful you are there is always some slick person out there with no morals who can pull one over on you. I have had it happen to me a few more times since then. I am so glad they put colors on the bills now to make them easier to distinguish.

Posted by: Anonymous at October 19, 2005 01:53 PM

yes it's happened to me too, twice,once by someone I assumed was my friend at a volunteer event and once by switch and bait at a bookstore I worked at. Luckily both times the person in charge had witnesses, the woman was dismissed from the volunteer organization and the three kids who 'baited and swtiched me" were too young to charge but the cops followed them home and told their parents.

I think tho documenting everything is a great idea dates, times, places , incidents . If you can make copies , give them to a superior.

Or you can do as I did with the boss from hell ( Bless the Mess article ) bide your time and get them fired by going to their superiors or in this case going to the federal government whose payroll tax she was skimming from.

Sometimes you have to learn to play as dirty as the people taking advantage of you, generally they don't think you're smart enough and they're putting one over.

And you leave it to GOD who gets the best justice when their life is over and they do a life review.
I figure that'll happen to the lady with the pumpkins Jim, she's probably still waiting in line to be seen in heaven.;-)

Posted by: Liz at October 20, 2005 10:57 PM

Address the person straight on who is taking advantage of your vonerability and ask that person to please stop.Express to him/her that you wish to be treated with some dignity and understanding. Ask if he/she would like to be treated in the same way and just how their feelings would be in the same situation.

Posted by: Len Spicak at October 21, 2005 12:31 AM

I agree with the above comments. I once had my wallet stolen. This was back in seventh grade, and the person who did it to me happened to be a friend of mine. My memory fails me as to his motivation for taking my wallet, but I do recall that we eventually did make ammends. Actually my mom sees this guy all the time now and they talk. He works at a local fish store. Next time I see him I might ask if he remembers the wallet incident though, just for kicks. This guy is fully sighted by the way and I'm not. Fortunately that was the only time my wallet was ever stolen, and I forget how much money was in there at the time. In addition to folding my bills differently, a former skills tutor labeled all the sections of my wallet in Braille using my Braille label maker so I can now either fold or keep every bill straight and in the appropriate compartments.

Posted by: Jake Joehl at October 26, 2005 02:48 PM