Swimming in the Mainstream

I am glad someone brought up this topic! Your action to list this as a topic shows me that I am not alone, people, third parties, do make rude remarks towards handicapped people. This is not an attitude difficulty or a 'shrink matter' this is a real activity people need to understand.

I work with the government, it appears the legal solution was to understand states do not need to apply Federal Civil Rights laws. They are political units. The ADA and hiring of large numbers of disabled are new trends for an organization to write the operating standards for. With this in mind, condesending remarks are a part of the work area. Personal attacks are just something you have to deal with. Something about heat and a kitchen?

I do think most handicapped people can tolerate a few remarks. With the lack of Civil Rights protections within State government, coworkers and third parties can and will make it a goal to make your work day misserable. This type of activity shows people are out-of-controll in the workplace. Manners?

I don't know if a solution can be found. It must come from the others. They need to accept the handicapped as co-workers.

That's where we be!

As a person with a visual impairment, I know also what it's like to hear condescending remarks from well-meaning able-bodied or sighted individuals. If a person talks to my sighted friend at the store or vet, I'll say something like, "She wants the combination 1 plate" or "She is fine." If they say hi to my guide dog and not me, I'll chime in a hello and just start talking to them, especially if they seem to fear my dog will bite them and they're saying it in Spanish. They're often amazed and will often eventually talk to me like I'm one of them. Most of the time in my experience they're coming from a place of fear and ignorance. If they tell me the light is green and I already know that, I'll just thank them because for all they know I need to be told that, and if this is the first person they encounter with a visual impairment and someone else with a visual impairment in the future may need their help, they would be more inclined to help. Many times people will tell me my skills are more acute because I'm missing a sense, but I tell them that although in some situations that may be true, my skills are more practiced. I try to smile and realize they're not knowledgeable of what it's like to live with a disability, and if they're genuinely compassionate about me as Natalie instead of a poor little blind person, I'll know.

I agree with Natalie condescending remarks are usually done from fear and ignorance, and sometimes maliciousness. I had a boss once who refered to her three blind employees as the three blind mice. I told her she got it wrong , two of them might be mice, but she was talking to the rat and I bite. And I did too. If you want to read more look for the article Bless the Mess.

Political correctness' intention was good initially, it tried to get rid of the offensive terms in race, disability, religion, that we all grew up in Western culture, most of them not nice and racist. However somewhere it got stupid and when that happened it wasn't taken as seriously.

My particular bugaboo is the word handicapped because I know its derrivation- from the first world war when the injured vets came home with cap in hand needing a hand-out and sympathy.

I prefer to deal from a more positive adjective disabled or person with a disability but that's just my person preference.

I think maybe if we gently remind people when they speak condescedningly to us that if we said something about their racial or ethnic culture or religion they might not like it any more than we do when someone talks snidely to us. It's just they've never walked in anyone's shoes but themselves and eventually we all develop some type of disability as we age.

My mum used to say to me even as a teenager or young adult , don't get me wrong dear, I don't wish ill of anyone , but their life isn't over it and one day they'll see it in a totally different light, if it affects them, their partner, their child or grandchild, sibling , parent or friend.
It's funny how it balances out that way .

The condescending remark that rubs me the most is, "You do really well in spite of it," or the awkward first meetings when people will say, "I have a friend like that, and he never lets it get in his way." Usually this is their segway to the original question which was held in check by the most minimal allotment of social etiquette, and, now that they have gotten the preliminaries out of the way, I always know what's next, "What happened to you, if you don't mind my asking."

People in government who should know (but don't know) still refer to people with disabilities as "handicapped" or "suffers with." I have even heard people say, when describing a person's disability, "struck or stricken with"...

I have been the brunt of many condescending remarks. Several months ago I was working with my skills tutor, who is a very nice person and who does an excellent job with me. She had never worked with a visually impaired person before, yet she caught on very quickly. We were discussing the fact that here in downtown Evanston, there are no accessible pedestrian signals or truncated domes to be found. She thought it would be a good idea to cqall and inquire about the installation of APS's and truncated domes. After all downtown Evanston is very busy and my area has a lot of traffic. Besides, my roommate is also visually impaired. He is legally blind and he has had a few close encounters when walking around outside. I agreed with my tutor that an APS or two and truncated domes would be an excellent idea. Everyone else shares our feelings. So she called the city manager's office and was immediately told that there were absolutely no plans for the installation of an APS or truncated dome. The person was very patronizing and told her he didn't want a blind person walking around alone down here. So my tutor wrote a letter and she has yet to hear back from someone. I realize that some blind people themselves are against APS's and truncated domes, and to me that is like a slap in the face. If fully sighted people have the right to safe travel, then we should be afforded that right as well. After all we are human beings too, and every human being has the right to safety and security.
Jake