Swimming in the Mainstream

Well my first tip is to read the Self Esteem articles here at eSight. According to Nathaniel Branden there are six pillars of self esteem and he gives a good definition of self esteem as well.

My tip however is not to be afraid to fail. Failure is your best learning tool in most cases. You learn more from your failures than you do your successes in most cases. Think of it as feedback rather than failure , you need more information, more education, more thought about your goals and plans and dreams as well as a better strategy to work it all out. Never be afraid to try. Some of our most successful people failed and tried several times before they reached a level of success. Keep positive too. Studies show that people who are optimistic and keep positive live longer , have fewer colds and illnesses but are just generally happier .

A great site to check out is www.authentichappiness.org Dr. Martin Seligman is a professor in positive psychology at the U. of Pa and Positive Psychology is one of the newest schools of psychology . For a hundred years we've concentrated in psychology on ' sickeness' and ' being stuck in a phase or in a way of looking at the world'. Dr. Seligman's offers a new way of looking at happpiness and resolution of our problems in a more positive way.
Take his 24 traits to authentic happiness and see where your strengths lie which will put you on the path to confidence and positive self esteem and then combine with them with Branden's six pillars.

Meaningful employment is something that seems to elude most of us. We are not prepared for employment in the traditional sense anymore. Of course, we could look at the apprenticing system and guilds, etc. - which still exist for the most part in other countries - as a means to this end.

For someone with a disability, I would say - and have said - The only limitations on you are you. There will be barriers and there will be those who try to thwart your progress; some of these among those you would think are supposed to be helping you reach your goals. But these should be YOUR goals, realistically thought out, and planned for in the same way you would plan a wedding or a long trip. What interests you? Is it a good fit? Do you like the work involved? Can you acquire the skills (however long it might take)? Who will help you acquire the skills? What accommodations need to be planned for?

Then: try it. It doesn't hurt. The only barrier to your success in this country is yourself.

There has been one motto I've followed ever since I lost my vision at age seven. That motto is simple: I can do it. If one keeps that in mind, it will be easier to live an independent life. There will be times when that will seem to be simplistic because life has its ups and downs, but this applies to everyone physically challenged or not.

I know that there is still a widespread belief that there are "blind-jobs" best suited for those without vision ... but the acceptance of that premise is both demeaning and limiting. Begin with your dreams, then with your plans to achieve them. Partner with those who can help you realize those dreams. There is no joy in setting the bar low or going under the bar. The greatest joy is success in spite of ones's disability. Exceeding expectations is far more rewarding than just "meeting expectations." Small steps may seem insignificant until one looks back at the journey and the point from which it bagan.

At the age of 19 I had a car accident that leaves me for 3 months out of this world, just excatly at the middle of my animal science career, in Monterrey Mexico.
I had to pull my self , as before my accident I was a sportsman, and a singer also, completely independent.
After it, I had to show first myself despite of the damage I can cause to my self that I can still be a functional person, never looking back but always forward and with a big smile on my face, that way I changed the wrong perception of people about me .
Actually I am married, have 2 sons and a great job, despite of adversity.
ALWAYS KEEP A SMILE ON YOUR FACE :-)

Liz Seger has an article on eSight about ways to hush the critical voices which can be part of your self-talk. You may find it interesting. It’s the last of a three-part series about self-acceptance.

"Pillars of Self-esteem: Principle Two - Self-acceptance: Critical Voices (Part C)" is at http://www.esight.org/View.cfm?x=710. It has links to Parts A and B so you can get the whole picture about critical voices.

Get in touch with what kind of work has meaning and would be realistic for you to do, then make a committment to pursue it. Get the training you need, volunteer to get experience and gain confidence. Small steps and successes toward the goal builds confidence, Don't give up if it gets hard or challenging, keep going and you will accomplish your goals!

Hi. I will definitely check out the website Liz mentioned, as it definitely sounds like another good one. Others may take issue with what I'm going to say, but I don't think relying on VR agencies is always the way to go if one wants to remain positive about his/her job search. Maybe sometimes, but certainly not for me. There are ways of looking for work without the assistance of state-run agencies, or so I've been told by numerous people. The general feeling I've gotten from having been a VR client for almost eleven years now, is that they only accept one type of blind person. In other words someone who is only blind, and who has no accompanying disabilities. This is a very sad commentary for people like myself, who fit the mold of having many talents yet not really being given a fair shake. I think the only way to go about changing this is by really attempting to change the direction and having both this country's blindness organizations speak with one voice. That voice should not be one which dictates to others how to be blind, but it should be a voice which sends a positive message about blindness to everybody who is blind, or who is losing their vision. Growing up blind, my parents and the rest of my family always gave me the opportunity to try my hand at various things, and if they saw that I just simply could not perform a task, or if they saw that modifications to the task needed to be made, they did not criticize me for it. They simply accepted and still do accept the fact that I am who I am and there are things that, due to my eye disease, I just simply cannot do or need modifications for. This is also true of friends and others who work with me.

Liz, www.authentichappiness.org is a neat website. I registered on there, but haven't had time to look through the various surveys.

Liz's "Take the Time:" That site is well worth the time!

I was in an auto accident that put me through years of mental torment that only I was able to bring myself out of with years of self abuse and doubt. But now have a wonderful new outlook on LIFE!