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May 14, 2008
How to Remember Names
One of the most valuable business skills is the
ability to remember people's names, says Nicholas
Aretakis, author of "No More Ramen: The 20-Something's Real World Survival Guide" (Next Stage Press, 2006).
Name recall will boost your image, earn you respect
and differentiate you, he explains.
After all, your name is your badge of individuality.
Hearing your name is the sweetest sound in any language.
Aretakis suggests making names visual, oral and
tactile. When you're introduced to someone, picture
his or her name spelled out in print, he says.
Also, he advizes, ask for a business card and record
where and when you met the person.
That’s easier said than done –- especially if you have
a visual impairment or other physical disability.
But, I think Aretakis would agree with Dale Carnegie.
Remembering names is more of a mental exercise
than a physical one.
In 1960, Carnegie wrote:
"We must keep in mind that what we really want to do
is remember people -- their names are secondary. So it
is important to give people your total attention,
become genuinely interested in them and want to
remember them. Remembering names is only an offshoot of the desire to remember the people behind the names."
Carnegie maintained there are three concrete ways to
remember a person's name: by getting a clear, vivid
impression of the name and the person; by memorizing
the name through repetition; and by associating the
name with some aspect of the person which will trigger
your memory.
I'll give you some examples of each of these three
methods.
First, to get a vivid, clear impression of a name,
listen. When you're first introduced to a person,
concentrate on getting the name right. If you don't
get it the first time, ask for the name to be repeated or even have it spelled for you. Tell yourself, "I want to remember this person's name, and I will."
You also need to get a clear, vivid impression of the
person. If you can't see the facial characteristics or
size of the person, concentrate on listening carefully
to the voice. Is it deep, high, low, resonant or clear?
Second, to memorize the person's name through
repetition, repeat it often. When you're first
introduced, repeat the name immediately. Use it
several timees in your conversation. Repeat it
silently to yourself while the other person is
speaking.
If you are introduced to a group of people at one
time, concentrate on each name as you hear it. Between introductions, repeat the name to yourself rapidly. And, then, go back and review by person (to yourself) after the introductions have been completed.
Review the names of the people you met today before you go to bed tonight.
And refresh your memeory of people's names immediately before you are to see them.
If you are working with a large group of names, work
with only a few at a time in short bursts of
memorizing.
I read about a principal in a high school of 1,000
students who used this technique. He knew the name of every student in the high school and was recognized nationally for his leadership in bringing an "at risk" educatioal institution in Wisconsin to a level of excellence.
Carnegie's third recommendation: Make an association
between some aspect of the person and the person's
name.
He writes:
"The strongest bond you can form in remembering names is to have an association between the facial impression (or general appearance) and some picture the name suggests."
Again, that may be a little tough when you have a visual impairment, but consider these options: associate the person's name with his or her business, occupation or location; make a person's name rhyme with some charactersitic of that person; divide a complicated name into exaggerated word pictures; and associate people with similar names (the Smiths who both like to fish).
All of these potential techniques for remembering
names can become ingrained habits once you sell
yourself on the importance of following them, Carnegie
points out.
But, his suggested techniques are by no means
exhaustive.
In the light of your particular disability,
how have you learned to best remember names of people
you meet?
Add your comments to this posting
Posted by Jim Hasse at May 14, 2008 11:12 AM
Comments
I only have enough vision to sense light and dark, so the technique that works best for me is voice recognition. Sometimes I can remember a person's name by the way they smell, i.e., the perfume or cologne they're wearing. On Monday afternoon I had a job interview at a nearby restaurant, and I met one of the managers. He said that today I'd meet some more of the restaurant staff. Let's hope I can remember all their names! I don't think this should present too much of a problem.
Posted by: Jake Joehl at May 14, 2008 02:02 PM
In my 28 year Professional Career, based on the situation, I employ several techniques shared with me. I've noted only those which are the most practicle to me as a totally blind individual. 1) If it is a structured setting and, a "Participants List" is available for the event, I make sure to obtain a copy of the List from the sponsor or Host/Hostess. As appropriate during the event, I make sure to exchange Business Cards with those I believe will be a future networking contact. Following the event, I compare the List to the Business Cards received and, recall the individual making sure to note one important fact that can be used as an ice breaker the next time we meet/speak. If, I find a name on the List I did not have contact with during the event, I make it a point to contact them within the next 24 hours and apologize for missing the opportunity to greet them personally and, ask for a few moments to exchange contact info. I follow this contact up with a quick E-Mail or a personal note. 2) In a small gatheringt, I focus on each individual to whom introduced. Again, I make sure, as appropriate, to obtain/exchange a Business Card and remember one important fact about the individual. Again, after the gathering, I follow-up within the next 24 hours to reinforce the contact via a telephone call or E-Mail. It is rare perhaps, one in fifty where the individual does not appreciate the follow-up. Those that do recognize the value of communication and, the focused interest in them which makes them feel important and, conversely they now remember you!
Posted by: James J. Elekes, M.Ed, MPA, CPM at May 14, 2008 04:13 PM
I use Dale Carnegie's technique of repreating a new person's name several times (but not too much lest it becomes annoying) until it is firmly etched in my mind, but I also think of some off-the-wall way to associate their name with something they have told me about themselves. With a little creativity, it can be done, but the key is to listen (carefully) what the other person is saying, and not talking too much yourself. It seems like people like to talk about themselves. It makes them feel important.....because they are!
Posted by: Scott D. Vroegindewey at May 29, 2008 07:08 PM