Networking Forum

Bill you're almost teaching my networking course for me. All very good tips, but I'd also like to say that one doesn't necessarily ' expect' help immediately from a fellow networker. Sometimes that help takes a little time in coming as the word floats through one's network to someone else's network.

Sometimes though people become a network mongrel and it becomes an if you do this for me then I'll do that for you and that's not good networking. They shove their cards on everyone they meet hoping to generate business even in places where it may be construed as bad manners or inappropriate such as weddings, graduation ceremonies, family gatherings. I guess I could say that to network there's a place and a time and a way of doing it so you don't turn people off.

Offer whatever resource you can without expecting somethng back in return and people won't feel so beholden to you and surprise sometimes you get back from other sources you weren't expecting.

Make sure people in your network come from a variety of fields and interests, not just the particular business you're in.

As someone who is seeking employment, I have at times, felt as if I were drowning! First, I have to give people that ten-second intro that says, "I'm ready, willing and able." Second, while I seek my own dream job, I see positions that others might want to check out and I share that face-to-ear, (grin) where possible. Third, my network is spread all over the country so I need to decide who it is that needs help and who it is that I can scream at when the net feels like it's breaking. I can refer people to places and people who have helped me. I have been turned down by companies which might be just the ticket for someone else...so instead of bearing a grudge, I can connect the dots for others. I got a call yesterday from a company I had forgotten about. Was I still interested in being considered for a position? That was a first...but even as I answered in the affirmative, I added another thread to my network.

Hi, Bill:

Dale Carnegie, as I recall, stressed the need for providing specific expressions of sincere appreciation in developing effective interpersonal relationships.

That can be done verbally at the drop of a hat to someone who kindly picks your hat up for you.

A strong, sincere "thank you" is one attribute I've tried to cultivate over the years as a person with a disability. It gives the "giver" an immediate sense of gratitude and appreciation.

The hand-written "thank you note," sometimes considered out-dated today, also still works well in maintaining personal relationships -- where reciprocating immediately is not needed or expected.

In business, a more formal "thank you" letter is always appropriate -- and often appreciated. In these days of portfolios, I think we'd be surprised how many of the "appreciation" letters we write end up in a plastic sheet protector.

Reciprocating doesn't always have to be "in kind." Just recognizing the help you've received as valuable and appreciated is enough until an opportunity presents itself as a way to return the favor in a more tangible form.

One example. I was driving down a street in my home town and suddenly discovered I had a flat tire. I turned into a stranger's driveway to look at it.

The homeowner saw my predicament, came out of his house and changed my tire for me. I offered him money for his services, but he wouldn't take it. All I could do was thank him.

Some months later, I met him just by chance in a restaurant in town. It gave us an opportunity to get to know each other under different circumstances. And it give me the opportunity to pick up the check for our unplanned lunch together.

Jim

Hi Liz, Jo, Jim and all,

Thanks for bringing up this very important fact. I agree we should not go around meeting new people with the intension on enlisting them into our network.

I like Liz’s point about that one doesn't necessarily ' expect' help immediately. This is just one reason it may not work the best to force yourself on others. You need to build up trust and get to know each other. This needs to happen before the trusted sharing, that is so vital in productive networking, can take place. This is another reason you do not want to have the mind set that every person you set out to join your network is fit or willing to join.

After you have gotten to know certain people you can sense their feelings and attitudes, even remotely without looking at their expression; or in my case when I cannot see their expressions because of my blindness. You can even sense another persons feeling and attitudes somewhat by their writing style in email messages. This is why part of successful networking is sensing how the other feels and how and when to engage in their help. This is at times a natural process so you cannot force it.

As Liz stated, help comes from where you least expect it. In Jo’s example of connecting the dots for others is a good example of how this could happen. By letting networking take its natural course, it can spread behind the scenes and somebody whom you have never contacted or met might show up to help. Remember, when these people do show up to help that you have not sought out on your own, you need to reciprocate help given just the same as any valued network partner.

Jim I like your ideas and example you provided on how to reciprocate help given. A strong, sincere "thank you", hand-written "thank you note” or just recognizing the help you've received as valuable and appreciated is enough until an opportunity presents itself as a way to return the favor in a more tangible form. All great suggestions.

Does anyone else have any suggestions on how best to reciprocate the help given by your network peers? We all know how valuable and critical reciprocating help given is in order to keep a loyal network as seen from our conversation. Any examples you can share that worked for you? Did anything not work you can share that we can all learn from?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Bill Tipton

Another thought. Probably one of the most important people in your network is your boss, if you're in a work or volunteer situation.

Why? A give-and-take networking relationship with your boss will show him or her that you are a genuine team player, that you have key interpersonal skills, that you can go beyond "self," and that you are working with your immediate work group or even the entire company in mind.

These are all some of the key attributes in being "promotable" within a corporate setting. And you can demonstrate them all by being an effective networker on the job.

Jim