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February 21, 2006
How to Meet People Who Want to Form Mutually Beneficial Networks
February’s discussion on the eSight Networking Forum has added a new dimension to my understanding of networking.
Yes, networking is connecting with another person. But, after reviewing comments from eSight bloggers and the insights from Olegario "Ollie" D. Cantos VII, Rodney Haynie and Jeremiah Taylor, I realize that connection needs to be on a human level. It can’t be on auto pilot.
Effective networking is being authentic and genuine. It’s more than walking in another’s shoes. It’s more like taking turns at being a sighted guide for each other. You respect each other’s needs. You never leave the other person in “free space.” You stay one step ahead of the person you are guiding.
In other words, networking involves having genuine concern for the other person.
Jeremiah, for instance, says he volunteered without pay for his employer after he lost his sight so he had an opportunity to remove the fears of his colleagues and show them he could perform on the job.
He also advises, “Let those interviewing you know you appreciate their concerns and understand their reluctance to hire you.”
That’s being upfront with others -- and being a guide for them.
Read Jeremiah’s story, “How I Dealt With my Sight Loss at 52.”
It’s a new article in today’s Career Management Resources section of eSight.
“Networking is an activity that thrives on mutual benefit. Reaching out to your contacts helps you uncover new opportunities, but ideally you must offer something in return,” writes Nan Hawthorne, a volunteer management expert and author of many eSight articles.
Ollie extends Nan’s “mutual benefit” concept further when he recommends:
"Add value to your networking contacts through displays of genuine appreciation of another's strengths… That builds people up… Help develop partnerships by matching the strengths you discover in others with needs among the people you meet."
That’s taking the mutual benefit approach big time. I believe Dale Carnegie would have agreed with Ollie.
Blogger Liz describes such authenticity this way:
“Be optimistic, be prepared, be honest about your strengths and weakness, be willing to not judge people who you think of as being negative. Many times people say or do inopportune things out of fear or out of ignorance because they haven't had a chance to work with someone with a disability before. Be yourself and be proud of who you are...”
And Ollie adds this observation:
“…I have yet to find someone with a passionate and intense go-getter attitude who does not, in the final analysis, prove to be a success. That is because, in spite of any obstacles that may be faced on a short-term basis, success-minded individuals keep at it and strive to make changes for the better, consequently attracting to themselves success-oriented individuals and identifying real ways to move ahead in a concrete and substantive way that enables achievement to become a true, living, ongoing and ever-increasing reality…”
Successful people who are prepared to help others seem to attract people who are using their personal success to help others.
So, our discussion topic this week is about how to find such people. Consider this question:
When you have a disability, what’s the best way to meet people who are genuinely interested in forming mutually beneficial networks?
Add your comments to this posting
Posted by Jim at February 21, 2006 05:29 PM
Comments
WEll before the onset on email and yahoogroups, I met alot of my friends through pen-palling. Three of them I've written now close to forty years, but at one time during my teenage years I had penpals all over the globe,about 150 of them Postage was much cheaper then LOL. I found them magazines like Tiger Beat, Teen Screen and Flip to name some of your oldies.
I think there are many groups online, yahoo, msn, aol, where you can find people with mutual interests. I happen to like John Denver and old vynl records so I've met many people I like very much on groups like yahoogroups. I also think the computer has been one of the best ways of keeping disabled people no longer isolated and in their own little communities. It's offered them the world without having to leave home or school or work.
Don't get me wrong , not everyone on the internet is nice. You must watch out for predators, whether you're a young person or adult , they're out there but that's when you rely on your gut instinct. Sometimes you're wrong , sometimes you're right but that happens in regular society too, however more times than not you're right in your assessment.
eSight also provides you with a chance to network as you read the newsletter and post in these blogs.
Whatever you're interested in, find out on campus or in your own little town or city if there are others interested in the same thing. If there isn't start a club.
Volunteer for causes you're passionate about. Show them what you can offer them, they might be learn something and so might you.
Join poltical campaigns, to work for candidates you think might change the world.
Attend services at your local church, synagogue or temple or mosque. Get involved with the many fellowship organizations there. Offer to teach sunday school or work with teens and young adults even old adultsLOL.
Make a difference in your world because if you do a little and I do a little maybe together we can get things done , to paraphrase a very wise singer songwriter who died almost nine years ago now , John Denver.
Reach out and touch somebody's hand, make the world a better place if you can.It's up to you, what will you do with it?
Posted by: Liz S at February 22, 2006 03:54 PM
I definitely agree that the information superhighway has been a key player in this regard. I myself have used email and the web now for several years, and I honestly don't know what I'd do without it. Through the years I have been fortunate enough to meet many people online who have a visual impairment, many of them similar to mine. I have formed friendships and in some respects learned new things. But online contacts are not the only ones I have. Through Center for Independent Futures, I have met many great people. Although a lot of these people have disabilities, only three of us are visually impaired. Despite this fact, we all have formed what I truly believe to be everlasting friendships. This includes the staff of Center for Independent Futures, none of whom have disabilities themselves but in some cases one or more of their family members has a disability. The staff of CIF all really care deeply about what they are doing, and they are a very experienced group of people. I heard from one of our staff members that the reason for CIF's continued nonprofit status, is to avoid all the bureaucracy that is state government. Maybe down the road this will change, but I have heard no such talk of this as of yet. I am also happy to report that my folks are going to contact my state's Client Assistance Program and try to shed some light on my VR case, or lack thereof. Hopefully at least some amount of progress will be made there. Please everybody keep your fingers crossed!
Posted by: Jake Joehl at February 22, 2006 10:07 PM
When you have a disability, what's the best way
to meet people who are genuinely interested in
forming mutually beneficial networks for career
development?
The best way to meet people who are genuinely interested in forming mutually beneficial networks for career development is by being involved in the community. Your involvement in the community and community groups lets people see you and get to know your strengths and abilities. Assume that all people want to help you until they prove otherwise. If we want the world to presume we are competent and I know that we are, we must share that presumption with them. I know that everyone will not want to help but the important thing to remember is that we are looking for allies. Everyone else who is not our ally today can become our ally in the future when they have the chance to see what we are capable of doing. In the final analysis we have the same burden of proof that we would have without a disability. Can we do the job? I know that we can, we do and we have the opportunity to show the world what we can do every single day. It is our time to shine.
Posted by: Barney Mayse at February 23, 2006 12:08 PM
I need to make a correction about what I said in my previous post. I said that none of the staff of Center for Independent Futures has a disability. This is incorrect, as one of our part-time staff members does have hidden disabilities. But it is still true that CIF has been one way for me to network. CIF is partnering up with the Center for Enriched Living, another recreational organization, and tomorrow is our first joint outing. CEL also has an employment component which I am planning to check out.
Posted by: Jake Joehl at February 25, 2006 12:48 PM
hi,
hope to here from you soon
Posted by: Henry Adjei at October 7, 2006 11:55 AM
I want to find people who i want!
Posted by: Prem samnang at February 19, 2008 08:01 PM